2020... Is It Over Yet?!

Wow, how do we even start to talk about the year of 2020? I hope all of you out there are well. We have been doing okay, or as good as possible. This year started off with a bang. We were going right along with life and had started going to the gym 3-4 days a week. Around late February we started hearing grumblings of this crazy virus nicknamed Coronavirus, but life was pretty much unchanged for a bit. In mid-March our state finally got the word. The governor started mandating things closed or limited, which included closing the gym. No big deal, right?! You can still workout at home. Losing weight is 90% diet anyway, right? Could it really be that long before we would be back up and running? Boy oh boy, could we ever anticipate the hell that would follow.

As most of you know the wife and I have been following a Ketogenic lifestyle and intermittent fasting for a while now. Me a little longer than her but for the most part we’ve been a strong partnership that’s helped each other in moments of weakness. On days that I may be struggling she was there to push me forward and vice versa. It really is so much easier when you have the support of your significant other. That little bit of extra motivation goes a long way to keeping you grounded. So, as we started off into uncharted waters of a pandemic who could have expected what was to come.

At the height of my weight loss journey I was down a total of 110 pounds. I was feeling great and looking to the future for what more I could do. I really wanted to drop another 70 to 80 pounds to get to my ultimate goal. My results had slowed some, but it was nothing a tweak in my diet and intermittent fasting regimen couldn’t fix. After all, I know what works for me and what to avoid so this should be simple, right? Well one thing we have to understand is that, for me, food is a hormonal struggle. I’ve always turned to it for comfort in uncomfortable times. Like an old friend in a time of need. This once again has proven to be an Achilles heel for me.

Weeks into the shutdown of basically everything around me, except restaurants, I found myself creeping into old habits. What’s one little cheat meal? When you don’t have much else to occupy your mind it’s amazing how fast bad food starts to become a thought. During this time, we also had some other personal issues that came up. First our beloved pet Riley had started showing more and more signs of her failing health and age. She went to the vet several times and inevitably we had to make the decision to put her to rest. She was such a great companion. She was a bit of a turd at times, but she gave us a lot of joy along the way. Second, I had taken on a new position at work in January. This put me into a position of being a commissioned sales rep. I’ve wanted this position for as long as I can remember. However, with the economy being so uncertain because of Covid-19, it put a lot of stress on my mind. Look, I’ve been through economic downturns before and it did not end well. In 2009 when the housing market went bust, it ended with me be laid off from a job I enjoyed when I felt like I was on the way up. Once again, I was having that feeling. After getting to the position I had wanted for many years of my professional career it felt like any day the rug could be pulled out from under me. This lead me to turning to the one thing that has always made me feel good. Even if only for a limited time. Food!

Food is like an obese person’s crack cocaine. You will go to dastardly measures to get it and it gives you a similar euphoric high. It’s because of this reason that myself, and many just like me, have to be extremely diligent in staying on track. Not unlike the cocaine addicts, I too must work hard to stay clean. The only difference is that unlike a cocaine addict I cannot live without my addiction. At least in some form I must eat food to live. Choosing the right foods is where I have to focus.

October 4th, 2020. We’ve made it to fall finally. While Coronavirus is still plaguing us, it has slowed some and things are as much back to normal as they can be for the time being. I’m happy to say business has progressively gotten better over the last few months. I’m still at my job and enjoying it. The company I work for has done a great job keeping us all working through the pandemic. Being an essential business that supports infrastructure helps. What I’m not happy to report though is that over the last 6 months I’ve gained 45 pounds! Wow, that hurts to admit! I’ve tried to hide it, I’ve tried to act as if it hasn’t happened but as they say, admitting there’s a problem is always the first step in fixing the problem. I lost my mojo and will power along the way. I do well for a week or so then fall off when a stressful day rears it’s ugly head. I will no longer accept this lackluster attitude from myself.

Once again, I’m writing this from my favorite place in the world. We are on vacation in South Carolina. Sitting on the balcony listening to the Ocean waves crashing against the sand with only my thoughts. This atmosphere always seems to give me such a euphoric feeling of calmness, focus, and happiness. One day we will call this home. The Lord willing it will be sooner than later but until then I must do everything I can to live the best and healthiest life possible. So, upon my return to Ohio I will be on a quest to re-invent myself yet again. As bad as 45 pounds of weight gain feels I must try to look at the larger picture. I need to focus on the 65 pounds of weight loss I still have. I’m still that much closer to my ultimate goal. I’m still ahead of where I was two and a half years ago. I’ve identified the issue, now is the time to gain control of my life and move forward with a new plan and a new fire.

If any of you out there find yourself struggling just know you’re not alone. It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to have bad days. What we need to do is not beat ourselves up over it. Don’t feel like we are less deserving of what we want simply because we stumbled. I’ve battled this battle my entire life. I’m almost 42 years old and I’ll battle it till the day I die but I’ve just got to try to keep my head in the right direction. Try not to look back and say, “what if.” Look, one bad meal really isn’t a big deal, IF we truly only have one. It’s the snowball effect that gets us. Its turning one bad meal into a barrage of bad meals. Then turning that into throwing caution to the wind for six months like I did and suddenly waking up one day feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck and realizing you’ve gained 45 pounds! Nobody is impervious to stumbling. That’s just life.

I’ll end with this. Life is a struggle, but we need to enjoy that struggle because it’s something that so many don’t get a chance to experience. Let’s all just take a deep breath. Focus on something positive in our lives and smile. Now let’s kick some ass!

“It Always seems impossible until its done”